I think I feel you. You have a big heart, you care so much. You’re a great organizer, structured, determined and disciplined. Most people think you’re under control of juggling work, family and your entrusted ones. Making things work out smoothly and without much ado.
In fact many people come to you, cause you always have a free space and an "open ear" when someone needs your help and support. Everyone around you sees you as the confident caring doer and think you’re happy.
But you’re probably really exhausted. And I’m not talking about the fulfilled-fall-asleep-after-contributing-and-dedicating-meaningfull-work exhaustedness, but the kind of stretched thin and depleted exhaustion that comes with trying and trying to still carry on with your commitments and keeping the facade up that you’re holding it all together. That others can still rely on you. The feigning that you're not in need of any support yourself, that you’re still good, all is under control.
This way of living is not just tiring, it’s super exhausting.
It’s consuming your inner Drive!
PUSHING HARD, PROVING, PERFECTING.
And maybe you’re also very frustrated and annoyed. Thinking what’s wrong with you, why you can’t overcome this? Having had good discernment and now second guessing your choices, not getting your things done as you used to. Having had everything under control, now just feeling overwhelmed. You lost your confidence.
Taking care of everyone else around you, and now feeling so worn out. Life feels like living in a grey shadow version of yourself. Feeling lonely although you're surrounded by so many people. You feel so disappointed.
And the vicious ever-repeating-never-ending-cycle starts all over.
These caretakers do this because they feel painful overwhelming, unbearable, negative emotions. And when they feel these emotions, they feel crappy and miserable, not good enough, unworthy. And when they feel this way, they are constantly haunted by negative self-talk, and haunted by bad habits and behavior.
As they learn how to decipher the messages of their painful emotions, thoughts and habits, the negative overwhelming emotional pain and negative self-talk will cease, and will be replaced by new and healthy habits. Your heart is the key to deciphering the messengers of your emotions, and to the inner wisdom of the Unique You. Your heart will guide the way. Follow it.
You DON'T need a Wand, more Time or Luck.
You NEED more INTERNAL CLARITY FIRST.
PUSHING HARD, PLEASING,
you hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom not just once but thrice. I thought I’d figured it out the first time, even the second time. But things didn’t work out as I thought they would and I found myself still caught up in the vicious downward spiral. After hitting my first rock bottom I started to work on my life and change things. I stopped overworking and pushing over the edge. I started eating more healthier, I got back to working with animals after moving from the city to the countryside. I changed my routines and I took more time for myself.
Then I quit my draining job, hoped to find a new direction and a true change for my life. However, 2,5 years later I found myself more drained and used up then the last time. But this time I took a full time-out of everything, really trying to take care of myself: prioritizing myself, focusing on self-care. Meanwhile my partner was struggling with health issues and he had immense pain, all of which didn’t make things any easier.
To make matters even more challenging, my partner fell in love with a very sick horse and then asked me to support him with helping this traumatized horse. He knew me, everyone knew me: I had a real hard time saying NO or turning down anyone. So of course, I couldn’t deny him to help rescue this horse. Especially as I loved horses since my childhood years, and I had always dreamed of having my own horse.
Meanwhile I had a new full time job, I started to become a Qigong trainer, and I supported my community with my marketing and communications skills. Still my partner was facing health issues AND we had just bought a very sick and traumatized horse. I'd like to stress that we both had absolutely no clue of how equine health, husbandry, nutrition, or equine training was working. You can only imagine that loving horses and having your own horse (even a very sick one) are two different pair of shoes. Which meant we needed to engage in a lot of workshops and courses to learn how to help him.
I help high performing caretakers reclaim their control, and for the first time ever prioritize themselves.
Hi, I’m Mirjam Blank and I can do this cause what I described above is the high performing caretaker I used to be. Deciphering my emotions to take action accordingly, and manifesting my heart qualities is something I apply daily in my own life. The truth is, I know your happiness matters to you. I know you want to take back control of your life, and get your inner drive back. I know this, cause my inner fire and drive was nearly fully consumed. I had become something that wasn’t me, no energy left, edgy, irritated, beyond frustration.
I had turned into a gray shadow of the feisty, strong, confident and happy person I once was. I had spend my entire life taking care of others and neglected to take care of myself.
It was time I did something for myself too!
I DIDN'T WANTED TO NEGLECT...
myself again, but things weren’t that simple. I wanted to do the right things for myself, and for my loved ones, commitments and additional family member I cared about. I wanted to do good and be happy.
But I was only rushing from one place to the other, trying to hold everything together. I kept thinking if I just get that done, than I could take some time for myself. But then I felt so distracted that I couldn’t enjoy the time or my practice. I kept thinking that maybe my timing wasn’t right for my training and that I should continue when the time was right, or things would change once my partner got better again, once the horse got better again, and things slowed down…
I FELT LIKE CHOKING...
months later. Getting no air anymore. I felt my soul was dying. But I couldn’t see any other possibilities. At night, when I laid in bed and nobody could see me, I was crying my eyes out. I felt overwhelmed, I felt lost. I felt so guilty and lonely. I had so much in life, but all felt out of control. I knew that I had to massively change. There was something that I still did, or didn’t do, that kept me in this destructive cycle over and over again. The not knowing what it was, was eating at me day-by-day. But I still felt this tiny little spark left inside of me, and that spark led me to finally ask The Universe for help.
I was thru being hyper stressed out, being completely depleted and in constant pain.
I was thru with saying YES to ANYTHING and PLEASING EVERYBODY else BUT me.
I was thru with neglecting and ignoring myself and what I needed.
I knew I deserved more, and I wanted that more.
I needed to understand what was keeping me in this vicious cycle and how to break out of it. And once I became quiet, saw and focused inward, I could clear the confusion and gain more internal clarity. If you don’t know why you’re only running on 20 % battery, and you can’t get things up and running again.
If you don’t know what’s consuming your inner drive and making you lose control of your life, the cycle never stops.
was that I was killing all the messengers! By trying to kill all these messengers all the time, it was as if I was trying to bail out the sinking boat without plugging the leak. It's exhausting. It's compromising your health and well-being. It's consuming your inner drive.
Furthermore there was fear behind all the frustration, distraction and loneliness that I felt inside of me. Fear played a big role and it served as a strong drive for the decisions I made.
When fear is at play — running also in the background — you’re not able to maintain objectivity and you can't see things in a balanced way. You lose your discernment, to see things clearly and make the right choices. It consumes a tremendous amount of energy, without you even noticing. All of which is draining your drive slowly but steadily, like poison. You become the frog who sits in lukewarm water and then it’s been gradually raised to cooking, without being aware of the process, and you being fried!
Fear was driving my life and the things that I did, and I was completely unaware of how it was all consuming me.
Leaving me only as a pale shadow of the confident, alive and happy person that I once was.
ONCE YOU REACH THE TIP OF THE HORN, IT'S REALLY HARD TO GET OUT AGAIN.
WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE...
to get out of h*ll, you see light on the horizon. I knew that there were other high performing caretakers out there just like me, who were looking for a way out. Maybe they didn’t had to take care of a sick and traumatized horse, next to a partner who needed support as well, a full-time job and commitments in my organizations, but I was sure as sh*t that they had been through their own version of h*ll and were facing their own shadow self just like I had.
If you’re still reading and this is you, I want you to know there is a way out, AND to feel empowered again, cause things are in your hands!
It all starts with embracing and deciphering your bodies messages to you.
Don't kill the messengers!
People-pleasing syndrome, proving, appreciation-seeking, withdrawal, distracting, ignoring, numbing are all tactics and ways to kill the messengers and to avoid pain.
And sometimes it’s the exact opposite of what we know and do, to find the key to unfold the magic to address the root cause of what’s consuming your inner drive and making you lose control of your life.
But once you become quiet, see and go inward — you clear confusion and you get more internal clarity. You can break the vicious cycle and life will take turns byond everything that you've ever imagined possible!
OH, IF YOU EVEN WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT ME ...
I’m an introvert but most often mixed up with being an extrovert. I’m folksy and all talksy, don’t get me wrong, but you’ll have to keep searching late night for me, cause probably I’m the one who’s gonna leave the party first. Don’t hate me for it! I simply need and enjoy a lot of me time. YES! I take care of myself now. LOL.
The sight of seafood gives me goose bumps and lets my hair stand up on end. It feels like the tentacles are still moving and those little eyes are glaring at me. I’ve tried, thanks, but no thanks!
Looking for me? You’ll probably find me covered in dirt from the stable or from mocking out, my horse Jumper will greet ya with a lap up, and I’ll unfailingly offer ya to go on an adventure hike together — oh yeah he’s good and all feisty and alive again!
I'm a business graduate (University of Applied Sciences) with specialization in marketing and communications and worked for years in the advertising industry which included creating award winning and fancy big campaigns.
Want to know all my legit and smarty-pants credentials in life cultivation and health promotion? I’m a certified Life Cultivation and Yuan Qigong Trainer and certified Emotions and Energy Trainer.
WANNA KNOW WHAT'S CONSUMING YOUR INNER DRIVE?
GET THE FREE GUIDE TO UNCOVER YOURSELF! HERE
RELEASE • JULY • 2022